DAY 1

 RAMBLINGS OF AN ISOLATED BINARY

Nothing better to start off this journey than a tune from the empty rooms that I stroll through with no audience to play to. Here goes and criticism not required, this is for consumption.

“I am unlikely to change, these are my circumstances laid

Before me there was only pain, Feelings of being Kane

Only wish was to see the universe in flames

 I will partake in no blame, my comrades labelled amusing names

Such a shame, please I beg, do not take these words in vain

No embrace, talk, I will tolerate, it was better just me in my lane

Forgive these childish rhymes and games, The Sun shines better in the RAIN”

On a serious note, can I get the name, right? Was it being an introvert or antisocial, I never know these days. As a member of either, its always nice to notice all my fellows sharing the same feelings I do when I pop in the twitter timelines. It is the cool trend, I hope it is true because I feel better its not me alone, and all of us alone together.

Another day like yesterday, maybe a new scene will come to play. I feel I’m just running the treadmill, no history and no clear destination in mind. Since way back, never had a friend too close to say I have a say in this world. To be frank, never knew being this alone and isolated could be such a drag, I could wake one day for some friends and then I obsess about a new thing to forget the pain. I could use a new adventure, feels like a clinchè but my interest in people small talk can never be constant.

Enough of all Shakespeare and unnecessary use of useless language to convey my feelings. Most days feel the same and I feel like I’m rotting away not fulfilling my utmost life dreams. All aspects of my life filled with nothing but disappointment and failure. In my schoolwork, I’m two years late on graduation and I see this year will be the same. You would think for someone indoors a lot, they could be geniuses or someone serious about studying. But no, my priorities are nonsense. It’s just oversleeping, binge watching, depressing music, debating alone, self explanation its just like I’m in a conference Steve Jobs.

Doesn’t seem like it’s going to change anytime soon. I just want one thing right. I’ll gladly take any success I can get, more so let me just graduate for God sake and let my life get some meaning.

I thought I have little social ability but not really. If we work, learn together, I’m particularly good at relating with all, I even think the others are worse than me. TBH I prefer to be the most antisocial in any setting because it’s easier for the place to be livelier than if I seem to be the social one.